Play Parties – By Valerie G

True thoughts of someone who knows

I wanted to share some of my experiences and thoughts about play parties. Play parties are usually wonderful, but one must be careful, especially if you are a female submissive like myself. I am certainly lucky enough to be blessed with a hot, super cool and intelligent boyfriend also not to forget some really great vanilla friends who know, understand, and accept my kink. I found the home I’d always wanted (my boyfriend is my home), a place to explore BDSM as well as my deepest human nature. For me, kink is not only sexual, but spiritual, emotional, and psychological, as well as a profound path for personal exploration. In other words, intimacy, which may be my biggest kink!

Most parties I’ve been too have made me feel what can only be described as heaven on earth. My fantasies come to life. No one is required to play. Especially for newcomers, they can watch and learn about technique and safety, and they don’t feel like they have to participate until they are ready to do so. This is why I disrespect those who start forcing someone who is not into certain play. You have to be comfortable to be able to enjoy and have fun. If I feel pressured to play, I will immediately voice it out to my boyfriend because I always believe communication is the key to avoid misunderstandings and ensure safety.

I know I definitely wanted to play.  I wasn’t pressured into anything, I just really wanted to play. I knew when I was ready. There have been a couple of incidents that has left me feeling weird. But luckily I have such an understanding boyfriend who always protects me and friends who respect me. Yes, there are a lot of weirdos out there.

I love public scenes. I have to admit I’m an exhibitionist. I am super comfortable with my own skin. I know what I love. And I love being submissive. Over the years, I learned I could play even when I didn’t have the burning desire at the time, when I am  a sub. That is part of the thrill.  Selfish you might call it, but then again I knew my preference and desire. My boyfriend certainly has played his part and trained me well. I feel like I can become a professional submissive! I’ve had some extremely fun, rewarding, and life-enriching times. Thought of future possibilities excites me beyond measure.

 My advice is always observe the way the party is run, and decide if you are really comfortable with it. Don’t be scared to share your feelings because if there is anyone you are not comfortable, they should respect how others feel and not be forcing you.

Does it seem like people are behaving in a way that meets your standards? If it doesn’t, speak your mind or even better discuss it with your partner or friends. Always remember to bring someone who you can trust to guide you.

Be aware of body language as well. There are people who aren’t strongly drawn to play but to some degree they possibly enjoy it because it makes their partner happy. The best way to find out is to talk about it and ask them. Some people are open to direct instruction, some need things to be phrased in a certain way for it to be well accepted. But when a “No” is the answer, respect them and leave. Always remember, the key is to talk openly, honestly and listen deeply.
Written By Valerie G


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