Opening Up

    The truth about Open Relationships.

    By Valerie G.

    o·pen mar·riage
    noun
    noun: open relationship
    a marriage or relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others.

    I know that most of you would think there’s only one party in the relationship who wants it to be ‘open’ and the other person simply acquiesces to maintain some form of relationship.

    Meanwhile some of you might think swinging is just simply an excuse to have multiple partners and lots of sex.

    So before I dive in let me make this as clear as possible – the situation I described above is usually the beginnings of an unequal relationship and unequal relationships rarely last for so long.

    Open relationships absolutely work for the right people.

    For me, it is very simple: If you cant make anything work, you’re just not good at relationships. Any type of relationships.

    Why it works for me and to few others? It’s fun.

    We like feeling attractive and wanted. We find it’s hot when our partner pleasuring or being pleasured by someone else.

    I personally think there’s something exciting about the fact that I get to have something that other people find so desirable.

    If you have a kink or sexual interest that you can’t explore with your partner, perhaps because they’re unexperienced or don’t know how, an open relationship gives you the opportunity to explore that.

    Nothing better than discovering and learning new things together and then you get to pleasure your partner. It’s a win-win.

    Best part is, you don’t have to worry about your partner cheating on you since you both are open to any ideas and discussions.

    So there’s no secret, lies or jealousy.

    Plus, it’s easier to make friends. Some of the people my partner and I have hooked up with, have become closer friends.

    I do agree that as a woman, people would probably judged and labelled you as slutty if you’re in an open relationship.

    If you are less attractive than the other person, the attention you seek from others or even your partner are slowly getting lesser. And you suddenly see yourself not attractive anymore.

    You also have to deal with other people assuming that your relationship is doomed, ridiculous, not lasting or even disgusting.

    And of course, most men would think you are up for anything or cool with whatever just because you’re open.

    Here’s the reality.

    Even in open relationships, you need to be really sensitive to the other person’s feelings, rational or not.

    One of the reasons that this works so well for my partner and me is that, if the other person starts to admit or show some degree of discomfort with a particular person, then we back off.

    Communication helps. Big help. Being in an open relationship allows you to be completely honest about everything.

    To those who believes swingers are all doomed, well let me tell you, I know a bunch of people into swinging and no one appears to be having any problems.

    And the most common misconception is, it’s a sign of problems in a relationship.

    We are in it not to cover or handle any problems. Swinging is not for you if you are not good at it anyway. Being in one actually enhanced the relationship.

    If you and your partner feel truly comfortable with it, go for it. For the right couple, it’s awesome.

    XXXX

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