Dating a gay man – by Valerie G

 After a year he revealed that he’s gay.

It’s not like we have issues. We rarely fight. We get on very well and the sexual spark between us is as good, as any other normal couple. But what went wrong? No, nothing is wrong. He loves me and treats me like any other guy does but at the same time, he desires for another man, sexually.

Shocked? Yes I was.

At the age of early 20’s, you might only imagine how I am going to react and respond after finding out. All of us are looking for someone special and we were lucky enough appear to have found what we wanted in each other.

My response wasn’t one I expected myself. Despite being shocked, I actually open my arms and mind and accept him as he is. In my head all I could think was…

“..why would I judge him when I am a mess myself?”

He loves and cares for me still. That’s what matters.

Since then, I discovered a new level of openness in relationships. From here, I learned that relationships are ultimately about an act of faith. I have to believe he loves me. And only time will tell whether he does or not.

I know by doing this, in a way, I am hurting myself now for the unknown future. But do I want to let it go just because I know it is now based only on my belief?

Yes I am scared. No I wont let him go

Because I trust him. In the end it’s all about trusting yourself and your partner.

I think it is wonderful that he felt close enough to me to trust me with another part of himself, another experience in his life that meant something to him. I thanked him for his openness, and we remain open to each other’s feelings. We had a great conversation which I believe has helped me to grow, to mature.

For more than a year we’ve lived with that. We enjoy each other. We’ve built togetherness. I have learned over the time that he is the best friend as well as a lover.

I think that there is a huge stigma placed on men, especially, where if they have interest in other men, it seems impossible to a lot of human beings that they would have any interest in ladies as well.

I am not sure exactly where that comes from, but I am a huge believer in the fact that at the end of the day we are all people with feelings and brains and hearts and emotions, and that most of us simply don’t fall in any one category when it comes to sexuality.

I left because after a year together, slowly, I noticed the attention I seek was given to someone else.

I realized I was dragged into a competition that I never wanted to be part of and yes, I’m losing every day. It was heartbreaking for both of us but we know the fact that we have to move on and create our own.

We may no longer be dating and living together, but our closeness remains as strong as before. He has been with a number of guys since then and so have I. We both live in a different parts of the world but we never fail to get in touch whenever we can.

You are the most fiercely loyal, kind-hearted, genuine and intelligent person I have met and I’m the luckiest girl in the world to call you my friend. The friend that I’ll cherish until the day I die.

Thank you for sharing those great moments. I don’t think I could be here where I am if not because of you.

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